Repent, for the end is nigh

I think what I need to repent of is never updating this blog.

For those of you who don’t know, I’ll be back in the States in almost exactly two months. In the following paragraphs I will present my reasons, preparations, and feelings, and argue that . . . wait, sorry, this is just a rambling blog post, not an argumentative essay.

Reasons, though. Basically there’s one; maybe more like one point five. The one is, I don’t want to do my job anymore. Don’t get me wrong—I adore my kids. Interacting with them is literally always a good experience. I like going to school every day. I like helping students with English questions and seeing them succeed at using a foreign language. I don’t, however, like being in charge of people or having to keep their attention on me. And while I’ve done okay so far, I can’t come up with new ideas forever.

The point five is, I’m getting impatient with being a foreigner in Japan. I find myself wanting to tell people when I’m frustrated with them instead of enduring. And the small things are starting to get to me—do we have to start every little event with six speeches and end with an evaluation? Do I have to spend the rest of my life saying “Sorry for leaving first” when I exit the office? Do we really have to wait until the students leave school before we turn on the office air conditioning?

Also our supervisor changed this year, so now instead of an English speaker who’s been handling ALTs and their problems for years, we have a Japanese speaker who’s still discovering what the job involves. It makes everything more difficult.

But let’s move on to preparations. I bought a plane ticket (that was an ordeal), and now I’m slowly packing up boxes and shipping them to my parents’ home. There you go. That’s the extent of my preparations. Oh, and I probably have a job, but I have to get home first.

So last is my feelings. Here they are: I don’t want to leave.

I don’t love bones in fish. I don’t love when I can’t communicate properly. I don’t love not having close Christian fellowship. I don’t love sort-of-mandatory but ridiculously expensive office parties.

But I love my kids. I love my friends. I love Sado. I love Japanese. I love karaoke. I love wearing pants every day. I love living a ten-minute walk from the ocean. I love being surrounded by anime. I love seeing my favorite musicians in concert. I love public transportation. I love Japan.

Approximately zero percent of me actually wants to leave. But I guess it’s time. I’m glad some of y’all are looking forward to it, because someone should. But right now . . . I’m not. Too bad, so sad, I’m coming back anyway. Prepare yourselves.

who would want to leave this though, honestly

3 thoughts on “Repent, for the end is nigh

  1. Your dad has been passing the boxes you’ve been sending home on to Sandy and me, and we’ve been getting a decent consignment return on the contents.

    Thank you for visiting Japan!


    • Wow, I guess surface mail is faster than they said–none of my stuff was even supposed to get there until late July. If you want me to, I can just send them straight to you and eliminate the middleman…


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